walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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