I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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