Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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