spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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