and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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