Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
