I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
