Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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