I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
