Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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