yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
