I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
