do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
