I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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