She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
We are two peas in an std pod
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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