I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
