i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
