I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
