how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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