Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
