Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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