The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
