plz talk dirty to me
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
