i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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