I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
