You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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