I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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