her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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