a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
