I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Randomize
