just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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