will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
