It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
