i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
