He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
