I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just threw up on my dentist
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
