Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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