How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
