im about as happy as oj after his trial
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
