what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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