Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
