Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
