I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
