dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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