Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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