Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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