is your mom at the bar?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
