I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
