Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
