We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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